It's bad, isn't it?

I don't know why, but I never know what to write—yet I want to let my emotions out. Honestly, I’ve been in a really bad place; my heart got broken, and now the one person I thought was my safe space has made me feel terrible—and they always have. The truth is, I don't know what to do with my life; I have no one, I’m not good at anything, and there’s nothing special about me. I’m not going to kill myself—that’s for losers—I’m just going to endure this pain until someone worth it comes along. I have no friends or a partner; I already distanced myself from all my friends because they made me feel bad and because I’m an idiot. And I’ve never really had a partner—except for one, which was the most toxic relationship in the world.