it's getting colder

it's getting colder so i'm already expecting to be depressed for a few months

it usually starts when it's snowing but i was somewhat lucky last year and felt fine until the middle of december

maybe i'm just feeling down because i expect that to happen. or that rainy weather is making me sad. or maybe i'm just sad for no reason

anyway i try to walk more while there's some grass left. sadly i have only 10 days off this month and the rest of the days it's 12-hour shifts so i can't really find time for a full day of just walking around. and i still don't have enough money to live without borrowing some :(

i'm too afraid of using my camera in rainy weather as well and the charger for my flip phone broke so i can't take cool pictures for now

some good stuff (maybe?) - i bought a second flip phone. this time it's an android one. i don't know if i'll even use it but i had an intense desire to buy one for a few weeks now so i couldn't stop myself when i saw a good deal (that's part of the reason of why i don't have money at all haha)

another reason for my poverty is that i bought cds that were worth about half of my monthly income last month BUT!!! i will finally get them in two or three days and i'll meet up with the person i really like while at it so it makes me really happy

also i've been selling some stuff from my collection which i don't really like anymore and i've been going through my wardrobe to get some money and free up some space. but selling clothes seems near impossible so maybe i'll just donate them instead

another thing i've been doing recently is writing. not *practicing* but just uhh venting on paper. got the cheapest notebook since i'm too anxious with using good stuff for something "bad" and i just write whatever there is in my head. i've been getting a lot of headaches and using my phone at work is only making them worse but writing stuff seems to actually reduce them. maybe because when i write down stuff my thoughts aren't all around but more organized. it doesn't work with typing though i think it's noticeable from my blogs (at least for me) that i constantly jump from one thing to another

and lastly here's the song i've been listening to today lots of times. sadly it's from an album i wouldn't have a physical copy of :(