it's hard

throughout the day when I was helping carrying stuff to the storage truck all I can think about is what my mom said when I messed something up, she just groans and shouts. and gets mad pretty easily. my mom is so so stressed all the time and I wish I could always help her, but even just being there makes her irritated and that's the last thing I want to make her feel, I'm glad someone else was there to make the situation simpler but it still hurts knowing how useless and slow I am, that's all completely on me. 

I don't even know why I still bother to want her to feel okay I thought I left that behind ages ago.