It's not fun

I'm so stressed. I have to learn how to lead a team of other kids around my age, and people have started drama with each other and yelled at each other like a bunch of dingbats in public. I have to learn really fast what I'm supposed to do. I'm usually a quiet person at school, and in previous years of the program, I was the “nonchalant person.” But I can't “nonchalant” my way out of this. I've been in the program for a couple of years already, but all the good leaders already graduated, and the kids who are younger than me really act like a pain in the butt.

I also feel bad because I'm supposed to already know how to lead since I've been in the program for so long. There are younger kids who treat me like I'm the one who needs to learn, which makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

I've been trying to ask everyone how they've been and how they're enjoying the program. I've been doing my best to give advice, even though I don't know much myself. I've been trying to get people to treat each other better. I'm trying to be more fun. I'm trying to do what the older kids did for me when I first started. But this is getting me nowhere, and I'm not getting any respect.

I am trying to learn from past leaders in the program, but it's hard to replicate charisma and optimism. I don't know how to take up space. I don't know, maybe someone has any ideas. But if you have any tips that really helped you if you were in any roles like this, I would really like to hear it.