And it is not something about me just realizing it is bound to happen , I feel a deep sense of dread within me that I can only ever associate with the end coming, I know it will not , and I understand that even if it did I would not ever know but I can not shake it out . I am frightened , but this is something that tends to happen to me .
Last year was the same , the presence of an apparently baseless sense of urgency regarding the things I had to tie up arrived and I ended up being desperately in love with my own sense of urgency , only calming down at the moment of doing that which would leave everything in order for my eventual absence . Once the year ended , it went away, which leads me to believe it is just the rush of the end of the year that is tormenting me , but I am too weak , too airheaded , and too dense to ever really tell why I feel the way I do .
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Geekatron
I felt like I was going to die when I was going through a severe depressive point in my life. I felt like one day I wouldn't wake up or one of those "unlucky/unexpected deaths" would happen to me because I felt like I was going to die really soon. And as time we by I ended wanting to take my life, I really felt like it and almost nothing was stopping me.
No I didn't have no religious eye opener or calling from some random god. I'm still here because I gave myself the time I did, I helped myself, I became selfish but not in a way that harmed people. I started to treat myself I also found many hobbies to give my life it's meaning. Because I, personally, believe that you need to give life it's meaning.
Everyone is different and everyone's view on life is different so that's why you need to find out why your life matters, and of course it does matter, because if it didn't. You wouldn't be here. I hope this makes sense, Take care!
Hey, hope you're doing well, I think you're very right actually, I do tend to associate these types of feelings and experiences to be derived from depression . I have lately been very numb to the world around me , only being amused by momentary thrills . I relate very much to what you say you've experienced , and I will try to follow your advice , to be honest , I do think it might be a good idea to do it sooner rather than later, and find something to keep going on for .
Thank you and take care as well .
by nina; ; Report
No problem! You're amazing.
by Geekatron; ; Report