just some stuff :P tw vent

for like the past year my mental health has been deteriorating a little :/. it started around when i started being queer and left friends because of them being bad about it, but a lot of it is selfhatred of myself. i don’t know why, but i get angry at myself for being ‘cringe’ but like i am so happy when others are…

i feel bad about this because i feel depressed and kind of emotionless for no real reason. i’m fine, i have good parents, good friends bc im picky now, good life, but my mental health is shit.

i guess the only thing i should really be angry about is the fucking world for trans people rn. and my mother who often misgenders people with they/them when she doesn’t feel comfortable using pronouns for someone (eg i went from he/him to she/it and am often called they/them).

but i don’t understand why the world is so shit to transgender people. loads of transphobic laws are being passed in the last few years rather than progressive laws. in the uk (i live in england) it’s been getting a lot worse, and hate crime is rising unfortunately. and there isnt any reason to hate if you have rational thought. all anti trans reasoning can be disproven.

but i feel really guilty about being depressed like this. i even feel guilty for not selfharming (it sounds really weird when i put it like that) which i think is an emotional validation thing and i feel like i am not worthy of getting any help. its weird idk. life just feels empty recently

but lowkey just need more people to talk to about things like thisss