kids my age have friends.

im lonely. so so horribly lonely. i have no friends in real life. no one to talk to.

i guess i have people online, yeah. but its fucking sad when your best friends are in California and Florida.

i hate it. im wasting away in my room all day. 

recently my mom has been making me go to the library to get me out more. i dont wanna rot in a dork ass library. theres a small teen section there. i like hanging out in it but people go there a lot. im scared of people my age. so, so scared. i always just hang out in the kids section instead with my sisters.

my mom always makes me go places. i dont wanna go anywhere with my family. i'd rather die.

i wish i was cool. i wish i was better at skating. i wish i had people to hang out with in some parking lot. im barely a teen and it feels like all my youth is wasted.

its gonna sound odd, but i feel more mature than people my age. not in a "haha im so cool and i act so old" way. in a way i feel disconnected. i wish i acted my age.

im only 13. ive smoked. ive drank. ive snuck out. i harm myself for the fun of it. i feel too young to be doing this shit. i should be like drawing emo warrior cats or something.

i turn 14 in 55 days. goodness. thats soon. less than two months. if i hadnt started school a year late i'd be going into highschool. not that it matters. im homeschooled anyway.

this sounds so stupidly edgy. YEEEESSHH... heh! im not like other kids! 

im such a dork.

my life feels like a challenge to see how much dumb shit i can do before im 16.

i can do a lot of dumb shit. ive done dumb shit.

im going to be dead before 18. likely by my own hands. im okay with that. i dont have any future plans anyway.

thanks for reading this edgefest of a blog i guess.