letting abusers get away with it

ive been abused pretty much all of my life. my family is or has been abusive in every way, and ive only had one friend who wasnt odd to me in one way or another (maybe two but i cant remember her). i broke up with a friend? situationship? thing? a little while ago because the relationship was going nowhere, they were emotionally abusive towards me, and by the time they actually wanted to get better they had already hurt me so much that i didnt want to bother with it because my brain had already categorised them as a threat because.. they were. they also threatened me with suicide when i broke up with them so 

but now that im getting out of my problem with always thinking that im the bad person in a relationship, im really angry. all of my abusers to some capacity have gotten away with what they've done -- my sexual harasser has faced NOTHING, my mother has faced NOTHING, my dad is going to court tbf but he's still allowed to talk to me and my brothers after what he did and he's still abusing people. but now ive been abused over and over again and i have all of this pent up anger inside of me, i dont really know what to do with it now that ive been abused in a newer way.

 i feel like im meant to ruin them or something and i feel like there's a lack of justice. they do have a lot of sadness over me leaving i think but im scared that they're just going to stay the same as a lot of abusers and generally bad people do. im scared that nothing is actually going to happen. im tired of getting argued with, gaslighted, and everything else thats happened to me and the person who did it faces NOTHING. as i mentioned in my other blog i have TERRIBLE anxiety and i have anxiety attacks often. and they're just allowed to make all of that worse because they WANTED to? because they couldnt get better for me sooner? man FUCK THAT im SO MAD. 

long post but whatever. has anyone else felt like this.