Life and shit blah blah blah

I want to be happy but god is it hard when there's so much holding me back.

My aunt is constantly making me feel like my dreams are stupid and unreachable.

It's so annoying.

Just because you didn't make it somewhere good in life doesn't mean I won't.

Not just that, but I'm stuck between 3 choices of schooling and I don't want to do any of them.

Boarding school, regular school, or online school.

Homeschool like I've been doing?

Not a choice anymore, I guess.

I love my mom but Jesus Christ.

I was doing okay with homeschool.

But I guess sending your child to a place where they get bullied heavily is better than having to teach her yourself, right?

Whatever, I guess.

I've got friends, at least. Only 2 irl, not including my sister. And one of them is my partner.

So technically I have 1 friend irl.

I have a lot of online friends.

I love my online friends.

But online friendships never last for me.

One day there'll be no "online."

And then there'll be no online friends.

I mean, I guess that's just the way things go.

The circle of life or whatever corny shit The Lion King taught us.

I mean, I'm not sad.

Not to a severe point.

But I'm not exactly happy either.

I'd never do something to harm myself - or worse.

But sometimes I just wanna disappear.

Not die.

I don't wanna die.

But I wanna go to a world where happiness is easy and everyone is friends, no matter what.

That's impossible, though.

So I guess I'll just stay here and try my hand at being happy, despite everything.