life is just going to shit but im happy

my life is lowkey terrible right now but uhmmm nothing can make me feel less terrible than i already do sometimes so the only way i can go now is up. old self saw bedrock and grabbed a spoon and tried to dig another hole but im not 100% gone yet so the spoon broke and im still here and im gonna live

deciding if i deserve to live or not due to past actions (i might deserve to live i think my ocd is making things bigger than its meant to be but i still feel bad), friends are all idiotic, realising all of my bad behaviours every single day (progression lowkey #healing), parents are screaming at me and becoming more abusive, starving myself, almost vomiting every single day. uhmmm... ok . i have 8:11 and boyfriend so hopefully that makes life better. im downloading it onto the school laptop im typing on rn so i can play it whenever im in support tehe... also christmas and my birthday is soon so im happy. i also have lots of money so yay.