like a cold a release from a sharp sting

there are a few instances when sudden shock struck upon me, like discovering something surprising, feeling like there's a dead-end, or inevitable trouble incoming. first it pricks you in the chest, like a drop of holy water or a dirty bloodlet crashing swiftly into a glass pane, abrupt impact then finally the fragments of glasses are shattered across the room. 

these days, this phenomenon keeps happening and i'm getting tired of it, sure, this feeling happens for joyful, exciting events too but rarely do they occur. i cant get enough of it, every sting expects a permeating release of pain through all my nerve systems. i cant seem to get prepared for these instances. sooner or later, i'll either become completely numb with my nerves all confused and gone haywired. or i'll just drop dead from so much blows i'm taking. 

for every sting, i could expect it earlier than the reactions my body could give. it's expensively exhausting, knowing that your body will be dealing it worse than the burden of handling the situation later. im tired x1000. i couldnt help but feel completely drained, out of breath, or think that im a super total loser afterwards. its the consequence of your actions, i believe