little milo

(TW pet death)

i took my senior orange kitty Milo to the vet 4 days ago and got the unfortunate news that he has stage 4 kidney failure and the best course of action is to let him go </3. also unfortunately i will be going by myself as my mom has to work. this is genuinely the hardest thing ive ever had to do in my entire life. i never really thought about him getting put down, i had always assumed that one day i would wake up and find out he had passed away peacefully in his sleep. its devastating me that now i have to put him in a carrier, put him in the car (which he HATES), and take him to the vets office and watching him go. its killing me because even though i know hes sick and in pain all the time, he stills gets up and walks around, he comes and bugs me to feed him, he perks up when my mom gets near him and he purrs when we kiss him and pet him. i feel like im betraying him even though i know its for the best. ive been crying non stop for the past two days.

trying to combat the grief, here are some of my favourite things about Milo

• the tip of his tail is a little crooked. we dont know why, but its very cute when his tail is straight up
• he used to be very chunky, and while he isnt anymore its still a classic
• he has one of the cutest meows
• he has the deepest purrs. its very soothing
• hes our most social cat. he would cuddle up to anyone who sat in a certain spot on the couch. my friends loved him a lot too
• he convinced my married couple friends to adopt an orange boy of their own
• he had NO problem begging for food lol. if we were eating at the table he would be right there head butting the chair legs to get your attention. if you were eating on the couch he would meow and paw at you and look at you with the biggest eyes lol. kinda like puss in boots
• he somehow always smelled like cinnamon
• he used to love being held tight and cuddled at night. like a teddy bear. he would wake my mom up just so she would cuddle him

sorry to dump this out here on anyone who may happen to read this lol i feel bad saying anything to my irls because everyone knows him. hes my sweet boy and im going to miss him so much it hurts.

if anyone has some tips to deal with the grief (and maybe the crying lol), please feel free to send them my way. i feel like my world is exploding on itself