living like the 2000s: a rough guide to slang

hello everyone steph here!!!!! here's some talking/texting tips to emulate the 2000s.

If valley girl suits you, add "like", "literally", and "totally" to your frequently used vocabulary. Other words I enjoy include:

• Adorbs (Short for adorable!)
• Fab (Short for fabulous!)
• Shocker (To express sarcastic surprise at something expected)
• Totes (Short for totally)
• Typical (To express something is plausible. usually negative)

My HUUUGE suggestion is to start typing with grammar. A lot of the 2000s internet was FULL of people who didn't have shortened computerspeak yet. 

(On the other side of that spectrum, hyper-shortened textspeak is very 2000s.)

"But Steph, I love modern slang! How do I replace all these words that I love using?"

With my handy conversion thing, of course!

If you like saying "aura" (as in, "I have so much aura"), try using words like "champion" or "master".

If you say "it's giving", just say "made me think of".

If you use "holy" as a descriptive word (e.g. "holy aura", "holy glow-up") I suggest replacing it with "absolute", "hella," "mega", or "total". Even just saying "that's the epitome of" works better. 

If you refer to things as "peak", try using "epic" or "awesome".  

If you refer to things as "tuff", try using "epic" or "awesome".  

If you say "gyat", just say "goddamn" or "your ass fat" like be literal.

If you use the word "swag", stop.

Instead of "larper" say "poser."

If you refer to it as a "fit" just say "outfit". I'm tired.

Instead of "delulu" say "crazy" or "cray cray".

If you call a person's attractiveness increasing a "glow up", try saying "makeover"! Or just don't use this term, it's kind of weird.

If you use the phrase "face card", stop. Again, kind of a weird phrase to use.

Instead of "take the L", just call someone a loser or say "you lost". Bonus points for saying "epic fail" or "you got pwned". 

If you say people are being "cracked" say "being fucked", or don't say anything at all. Fuck Puritans.

AGAIN for some text speak that's relevant timeline wise/less indicative of a modern voice:

YES- TTYL, LOL, LMAO, STFU, ILYSM, ILY, BRB, OMG, BTW, IDK, IDC, ASF, ASH, FAFO, ROFL, TTFN

NO- CTFU, IJBOL, ts

Feel free to integrate this with however you talk, and you don't have to take all of my advice. Use whatever gay slang or AAVE you want, just as long as you know where it's coming from. Don't say every trending word on TikTok or Instagram kiddos!

I will do a more in-depth blog post about specific slang terms but for now I'm gonna leave it here. TTFN ^_^