Loads of sex

Hi, im Naomi. 

Im using this as a diary atp, and living has been so hard on me recently, like since summer started so did my summer depression. 

Did you ever fell like everyone was moving forward and you were just staying the same. No matter how nice i try to be to people I'll always be called a bitch, which is super weird bc Im not that mean, at least i think so. 

So there is this guy ive been talking to, and he says everyone he ever talked to, told him i was like this super mega bitch. 

Which is weird, bc arent we all teenagers? Why call someone a bitch? Why not be creative? I much rather be called a creative insult rather than an overused slur. 

Unrelated but ive tried cutting myself, doesnt do anything to me, like is it supposed to do something. 

Scar tissue has no character. It's not like skin. It doesn't show age or illness of pallor or tan. It has not pores. It's like a slipcover. It shields and disguises what's beneath/ That's why we grow it; we have something to hide. - Susana Kaysen

I like to think that im this deep and mysterious girl, but there will always be a hotter bitch then me, and for some reason i cant accept that. 

Like this girl, she is like involved with every single person in my life, and i cant escape from her, every guy i like shes been involved with, and she like cuts herself and has this huge breasts, i wish i had breasts, i mean any idiot can cut themselves, but it only looks hot on certain people. 

I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And I am horribly limited.

Like i dont belive in God but if He is some all holy spiritual being. Why doesnt He help me, ive been praying ever since i was 8, and i stopped this year. 

Anyways im tired of planning my own suicide, i hope i get drunk and die.