Long time no see

It feels like it's been months since I last logged in here. So much has happened, but at the same time, so little, that I don't even know where to start.

I had the shortest work placement of my life at a pharmacy in my city. It was fun, although the last few days were a little frustrating since they basically had me running errands back and forth to pick up medications from other branches. Thankfully, it wasn't all that bad, and I feel like I learned quite a bit about how a pharmacy operates. I feel more confident talking to customers and higher ups now, so hopefully that'll show in future job interviews.

On top of that, I'll be finishing up all the paperwork I need to enroll in the degree program I want to pursue this week. I'm excited about this new chapter of my life, although I'm a little nervous, too. I really don't want things to end up the way they did the last few times, with me feeling dissatisfied and throwing away all the effort I put into it all over again. I genuinely hope everything works out this time.

The plan to move to the capital feels closer and closer to becoming a reality. I've been told the job market isn't doing too well over there either, but I want to believe it can't possibly be worse than in this little city I live in. The thought of leaving everything behind scares me a little: my family, my friends, all the places I know, and starting from scratch somewhere new. I don't know how I'll adjust to a place as hectic as the capital, but I really hope things work out for me. I can't wait to see all the people I'll cross paths with and all the new friendships I'll get to make. I feel like once I'm there, I'll finally get to be an adult for real.

It's hard to feel like an adult when you're constantly under the judgmental gaze of a mother like mine, so overbearing and overwhelming. But I'm ready to leave it all behind. I'll be scared, but I'll do it anyway.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want out of life. I know I'm young and still have plenty of years ahead of me (fingers crossed) but I still feel like I need to at least sketch out a rough mental picture of what I'd like my future to look like. I want to find a nice place to live, a job that leaves me with some free time to enjoy my hobbies, someone I love to share my life with, and the chance to explore new places and meet new people. I think I'll be able to make some of these things happen in the not-too-distant future, but I won't write them all down here because this post is already long enough as it is.

Anyway, I have so much more to tell, but I'm really sleepy and my thoughts are moving faster than my hands can keep up with. I hope I don't disappear for so long again (it was probably only three weeks, but I'm #dramatic).