Losing the Fear of Death

I must lose my fear of death.

That primitive fear, normal in human beings, in animals, in living things, perhaps even in extraterrestrials. The kind that cannot be lost through anything, only ends when the end forces you to leave life behind.

They say it is impossible, which is why there are so many things you could believe in, depending on where you were born. We may believe in heaven, in reincarnation, or in purgatory.

Or perhaps there is only darkness, or not even that deep blackness, there is nothing, you will never exist again, and the opportunity to do so slipped from your hands the day you chose to forget the bullshit with more bullshit, this time forever.

Today I want to destroy that ancient fear, eliminate it from my rotten system, from my withered thoughts, from my corrupted mind.

Before I was alive, I was dead for an eternity.

That is why the walls I created in my imagination always seemed fragile to me, so easy to break, I knew they could not withstand even the slightest gust of reality.

But I know that when we cease to exist, we will lose all hope, all spirit, all dreams, the foundations of what I was... everything will leave, if it hasn't already done so long ago.

Today I want to lose my fear of death.

Leave the flesh stranded and go only as a soul, embrace the peace, the calm waters, their tides of distorted happiness, leave the lake of illusions behind.

But I don't know if I can do it, I am no one to overcome the deepest fears of the human being, especially the most deeply rooted one, the one that, despite everything, is right.

Out there, there are billions of stars still alive, some imploding only to explode into hundreds of pieces. Planets that may harbor more intelligent life. Beautiful events that human eyes could never see without burning.

But everything is a mirage to me. Yes, we see the stars as simple points in the night sky, and the meaning I give them also makes me give meaning to myself, a point among so many others.

The stars I see in the sky are so far away that perhaps the light-years of distance make me see them as alive when in reality they have already been dead for a long time.

Be silent and sigh.

We look at the past even when looking up.

We look up and keep looking backward.

It is time to stop looking.

It is time to want to lose the fucking fear of death.