me & my website ^_^ (yapping)

I was scrolling on Neocities and I realized that I was...well, not a really interesting person.

People have hobbies, dreams, projects...and I am just...here. A few things I have ever made were a book on Wattpad that I don't want to write anymore because I lost the inspiration and random drawings I made at school and that I threw away. 

You should know that I started writing that book from the start of the year, by the way. 

Anyways. I feel a little disappointed in myself but there's a part of me that just doesn't care, you know. Like nothing has to be perfect and that it's okay to just be...me ?

I always wanted to make something big and now that I think about it, I'm wondering why I wanted to do that in the first place ? 

I just wanted fame, to be honest. I never wanted to make somthing to be proud of or whatever, it was just for fame lol.

But, I do love writing. I love to write, really. 

It seems like the only thing I can write are these stupid blogs that get a few comments if I'm lucky. I hope that I'll find something meaningful to share. I really hope so, because I think that's what everyone wants after all, to find a meaning in their life. 

I wonder why I am sharing all of this. Maybe to get a few likes, I guess. 

I am greedy, you know. Not the kind of greed that drives me to hurt people (at least, I hope so). It is something deeper. That constant search for validation. Maybe it started when I got on social media, or somewhere in my life.

All I know is that at some point, I just decided that I needed all the attention. 

The irony of it is that I used to despise attention. But, it also made me feel lonely at some point. Maybe because I closed myself off too often.

In the end, what I am saying here won't make any sense tomorrow because I'll just stop thinking about it. 

That's all, bye !!! :3333

Also, I am sorry if some parts of this blog don't make sense because english isn't my first language and I have very poor vocabulary but I still hope you understood everything ^_^