melancholic nostalgia

i am typing candidly, because i tend to overthink my writing style and it seems forced. but there is so much in my head that i dont know how to get out in a way that makes sense.

does anyone else almost get weepy/sad from how nostalgic they get sometimes? like i feel so sad almost by how much better life was when i wasn't even able to experience it fully. and then i feel like im chasing a high trying to recreate something that i was barely conscious for (hence why i am being so active on here).

its not necessarily a need to be completely immersed in the vibes and aesthetics, but rather not feeling so alone or delusional in my search for that feeling.

this past fall, i was on a mission to completely redecorate my room and wardrobe into a dark/cozy tuscan paradise (pretty little liars, twilight, gilmore girls, tvd, etc) and it felt so silly to explain to my friends how much i NEEDED it when we went thrifting. i went kinda mad buying old rustic decor and stuff but i knew where my heart was at and it didn't feel silly or cringe at all.

if any of you understand this feeling, feel free to comment your thoughts and experience. i really enjoy this site because it lets me see how much other people love the past in different and unique ways!

p.s. if any of you have any good resources to learn coding, please let me know. (i'm an engineering student and know how to code for data analytics, but not in this context for web design and i really wanna learn)

love,

pondie ooxxooXoXXx (iykyk lol)