memory loss

what the hell happened to me?

when did it get like this?

I genuinely cant remember anything else than this

not memories, more like pictures of a forgotten past

brief moments If I try hard enough or if I sense something familiar

I fell off so hard

I'm pretty sure I used to be really passionate about comedy and rhetoric

now I cant even string two words together without sweating bullets

I used to question the morality of my actions and live life to its greatest capacity

now I stare at a screen for 12 hours, jerk off and dream of change while being too terrified to it by myself

but I cant even ask someone to help me because I'm still not over that one girl

I find myself being less and less tethered to reality each day

I tell myself "today's the day, I'll finally try to learn how to draw" but before I know what's happening the day is already over