Mental health state

I've been feeling very low and down the past weeks and ik that my mental health is getting worse and worse.

The biggest issue is: I can't do shit about it, especially w exams coming up, exams that stress the shit out of me.

I am rly at the point of my life where I see no exit to everything. Nights where I js stare numblessly at the ceiling happen more often than they did b4. 

I feel like there's no meaning to life, i feel like everyone is against me, i feel miserable. 

And w all this came physical pain too. I've been having horrible chest pain, feeling like my hearth is fucking heavy from "sadness" or whatev I can call what I feel. I can't breath normally, my lungs make a wheezing sound sometimes, I can't even move normally cuz smt happened to my kidneys and it effects my whole back, causing pain yet again w every movement. 

I can't go to the doctor's, ion have the strength for anything. I will js drag my lifeless body to school and js push thru the day. 

I don't know what to do, I can't be w my friends or my gf cuz all of em are far away and at school. I want to do nothing, I wanna be nothing, I wanna feel nothing. 

Don't tell me that yes I CAN do smt about it, everyone is different and with all this physical pain js getting up to piss hurts. Even better, js wanting to change positions in bed to be more comfortable hurts. 

I even gotten to the point to sh yet again after not doing it for a while, making me miserable yet again cuz this shit doesn't even give me a second of relief, only guilt and regret.