midsummer diaries

the second part of summer always makes me reflect more. it just feels a bit melancholic, like the party is over & here comes an hour drive home in the back of the taxi, where all you're left with is the fading excitement & photos in your camera roll. but what i'm left with instead is everything i didn't do & everything i don't have yet.

everything feels weird. i want to meditate for a couple of hours, then wake up & see all the weirdness & sadness go away. i want to wake up and see a different, happier world for me to live in. in july everything feels like that. it's always 5-6pm and it's hard to breathe because of the heat. it's the feeling of wanting to change your life & feeling bittersweet about leaving something behind in the process.