Misanthrope: A Reflection on Where I Am

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how I feel toward people and society in general. Sometimes I feel like I don't really like humanity very much. People can be selfish, judgmental, cruel, fake, and sometimes it feels like everybody is constantly trying to prove something to somebody else.

I think that's where the word misanthropy comes into my mind.

For me, being a misanthrope doesn't necessarily mean that I hate every single person. I have people I genuinely love and care about. I can love my girlfriend, care about my family, enjoy spending time with my friends, and still have a lot of frustration toward humanity as a whole.

Sometimes I think what I really dislike isn't people themselves, but the way people treat each other.

I don't like watching people tear each other down. I don't like fake friendships. I don't like people judging someone because they're different. I don't like how easily people can become obsessed with popularity, money, appearances, or what other people think about them.

And honestly, sometimes I just want to step away from all of it.

That's probably one reason I've been drawn toward a simpler way of living. My whole 2006 lifestyle isn't about pretending that I'm actually living in 2006. It's about getting away from some of the things I don't like about modern life. I like physical music. I like having a computer instead of constantly being glued to my phone. I like writing things down. I like having moments where nobody knows what I'm doing.

I don't need to broadcast my life to everyone.

At the same time, I'm realizing that being mature means not letting my frustration with humanity turn me into someone I don't want to become.

I can dislike certain things about people without becoming cruel myself.

I can recognize hypocrisy without becoming hateful.

I can want distance from society without completely isolating myself from the people I love.

That's probably the biggest thing I'm learning.

Maybe being a misanthrope, for me, isn't about saying “I hate everyone.”

Maybe it's more like:

“I've seen enough of humanity's ugly side that I don't blindly trust people anymore, but I still choose to care about the people who matter to me.”

And honestly, I think that's where I am right now.

I'm still figuring myself out. I'm still becoming more mature. I'm still learning when to walk away from people, when to speak up, and when to simply let something go.

I don't have to love humanity as a whole to appreciate individual human beings.

And I don't have to become cold just because I've been disappointed.

Maybe that's the balance I'm looking for.