Miss being scared

It's been a long since I've felt this mystical kind of horror. I hate how now "scary" things for me is being scolded or shamed, i just want to feel how something non-human is watching me from the dark or wandering near my place so I'd finally start to value my life. I want adrenaline, but not from human brutality or earthly injustice, (which is of course are the scariest real horrors), but from something questionable in existence, from something about which you think, "well, we don't know for sure, could this actually happen?". 

When someone ask if supernatural things happened to me, i feel deprived, because NAH!! But i wish this happened! 

Maybe i want a hint on that we're being watched by something strong and dangerous, blood-starved and almighty. Or something nasty and ugly is always here, like some spirit or entity that hides in the shadows or wardrobes. Or something decomposed, but still breathing just to find It's prey and rip out their guts. Just a little hint to not feel alone in bland world where there’s no room for horrors.

When you're a kid, it's easier to be scared, because you barely know everything and all that surround you in unknown. You can't be sure if slenderman exist or not, but when you get older you find out there's video editing and. this sucks

All my problems stem from boredom🥀