mother

it's like I can't get her words outside my head. and I'm literally older enough to start going on my own. i know for a fact I'm not gonna look back on these years, but I just want to have normal teenage moments. and I can't even have that 

my mother has no patience at all. she will immediately be mad at me whenever I just want to check out here and there, always thinking if something happens to me, she makes it out to put the blame on me because I can't take caution around myself. is that not a form of victim blaming? she also tries to blackmail me by telling me if you do this again, she would send me to my dad in Germany (which he isn't even in anymore) or breaking my phone, i don't really care about the phone part, its the parental controls I'm worried about. if she somehow misplaces the password, I can't get access to my info. or on any device. 

It's like she wants me to suffer with her, be like her, be an acquaintance, instead of a daughter,if we keep going like this I'm gonna have to move. I may know how my dad is practically a wolf in sheep's clothing and how unavailable he is, but at least that way we don't have to share anything between us, nothing like this.