Music : THAT yearning feeling for peace

James joint.. this my shit right here. It took me a minute to actually find a good version of the extended cut but I eventually found it. I like songs like this. It gives me that euphoria feeling—where I’m laying down in my bed but I feel like I’m floating. I close my eyes and hum to the song as I yearn for a peaceful life, longing for something that feels impossible to have considering the state my life is in right now. 

From being kicked out by my mom and feeling like I’m all alone, life has just been a pain. My mom literally chose my brother over me, yall know what that shit feel like? Do yall know what it’s like to sleep on a pallet on the floor at yo grandma 1-bedroom apartment? That shit forreal will put you in a state of  rut. It’s the same routine everyday, my nigga. I wake up, do schoolwork on my computer (I been doin virtual school for like 2 or 3 years now), listen to music, and sleep. Life is boring as hell right now.

I’m also in a stagnant space where I feel like I’m not learning shit with this virtual school and I feel like i ain’t makin no progress with my mental health whatsoever. I'm in a state of limbo where I feel like I’m in an old phase of my life but also entering a new phase of my life. I also have a general feeling of malaise, feeling all types of off and feeling like I ain’t got no energy. This depression ain’t no joke. On god.

I just want a life where I can drive through the city with no worries. God, you ain’t gotta give me nobody to be with, just give me a life where i ain’t gotta deal with no toxic people in my personal life/space. Give me a life where I can get high with no police at my door.