My ex and I fought again.

After the whole thing almost three weeks ago when she was super pissed off about me coming over, we made up and moved on.

And then, we argued again after I had burnt myself with oil while making food together. I put some cream on it and we ate, and then went out again. But it was super annoying walking through my town having to hold my arm in a certain way so the cream wouldn't get on my clothes. Plus, after a few jokes made by my ex, I was much more annoyed. And the cherry on top? Me and my ex have had an inside joke where we hit each others back very hardly, and exactly then, when it was clear on my face that I was not in the mood for any type of joke, she hit my back. I got angry, started walking a little faster, and then me and my ex finally settled on some grass. She kept trying to lighten up the mood and make me talk, making jokes about bringing my fav characters there, but honestly? I wasn't in the mood even to see my fav character. Also, I don't know what the hell I was overthinking about but it got to my head pretty bad and it made my mood be worse. Eventually, my ex got up and started picking flowers for me, and I couldn't stand there and watch. It was somehow painful for me, remembering the times when we were together and I would do that for her, so I got up and left. I know it was mean of me to just leave without saying a word, but it was just too much for me to handle. I walked around for a while to clear my head and listened to some music and I eventually went home feeling better. Four days later me and my ex made up again.

What ended our friendship this time if it wasn't that? Her ditching me for another girl and ushering me off as quickly as her friend said she was coming towards her, not knowing I hadn't left yet.

The last time me and my ex hung out, she also had plans with her other friend, who I'll call A, to go to A's house and cook pasta. I really wanted to go too and feel included, but A said her mom has a rule that she can only bring one person at once. Honestly, I think it's made up bullshit. Why? Well, while we were walking to A's house, me and my ex randomly started holding hands. She just broke up with her boyfriend and wanted to make a joke to another of her friends that she doesn't need that friend to hook her up with another guy. A got mad and went to her house alone, while me and my ex went to sit on a bench. While sitting on the bench, my ex told me A doesn't like me because I'm emo and because I'm a satanist. I actually wanted to be friends with A but alright then. My ex and A made up and A started coming towards my ex (since my ex told A she was alone now), and my ex quickly started ushering me off, telling me to text my others friends and to hang out with them instead. I, of course mad that she ditched me that fast, went home. When I said "bye", my ex noticed the tone in my voice and asked me if I was mad. I said "I don't know", but she understood the answer. 

 When I got home, I put some stories on WhatsApp that only my ex could see, judging her for ditching me that easily, the last story saying "I hope you're proud of your decision." Then I got an answer. Here's the translated version of it:

"Well, honestly, I can't share myself and if you don't like that you're picky and you only have demands from me, it's better that we're not friends anymore, I never pushed you away and I didn't want to seem like I was pushing you away, but I can't be with 2 people at the same time who can't stand each other... but you have too many demands from me, if you wanted to I wouldn't go to her place but at least she's a better and more understanding friend who doesn't have so many demands stuck up her ass like you, I can talk to her about anything and anytime and you can't talk about your feelings even with your mother 😂"

Of course I responded before blocking her, saying "That's what we're doing now? You're using me not being able to talk with my mother against me? This is where we ended up? This is how fucked up we are? Alright. I actually wanted to be friends with A btw, but from what I see she can't stand the fact that I express myself exactly how I want to. I never had any demands from you, but it hurt me when you chose to stay with her."

I honestly don't know what to say after all this. I know I've also been in the wrong, but she's honestly worse than me. I've always tried to be next to her, be friends with her friends just to be with her constantly, but the second I get hurt by her doing these types of things I'm the one demanding stuff. And using things I've been comfortable to share with her against me is even worse.