soo uhh this is about my triggers and things that make me want to kms
everytime I think about what I'll realistically be able to do in future I can't help but say, "is that it" and think about doing it because what am I looking forward to anywayI don't want to get too into it but i'm pretty sure someone died in my place- thinking about my present
just fucking around, jerking off, and doing nothing all day every fucking day, need I explain?this one is the biggest killer, everytime I get apathetic I always come to the conclusion of suicide as the best choice availablethere's a few people I want to piss off and I think dying is the best exclamation point to put on anything, people don't listen like they listen while someone is in death, and I just want people to know, yk?- thinking about the world compared to fiction
everyone knows this world is fucked and most people turn a blind eye or say "watchu gunna do aboutit" and the few that advocate change either make it worse or don't do anything, but I'm not even talking about anything noble like climate change or oil, its just me in a corner crying that I didn't get to live in a world with dragons and hot elfs and shitalot of times I feel like people are counting on me to commit to it and if I don't then I'm just another dude and they'll be angry that I didn't. Everything I've done always leads me back in the same hole so yeah, it does feel like I'm destined to die and I need to uphold that somehow which also ties into my pastyeah that's all I can think of for now but honestly I'd stop here anyway, I feel sick
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