My girlfriend broke up with me and i moved on

I honestly thought id be more sad, and i probably will, but i wasnt suprised. Shes a leagues more serious person than i am, so im not a perfect match or anything like that. Sometimes i dont know what i want when it comes do dating. Talking to girls is mainly focused on the dude; i have to come up with the right lines and things to say to a girl, its honestly tiring. I can't be myself, nor do i expect to be able to. The advice "just be yourself" has definitely screwed me over. Also, my default personality has also screwed me over. I walk on eggshells within myself, not really with the person im talking to. I know theyre being themselves, im not. Maybe thats why my relationships keep failing.

Im sorry i stay away for days on end on this website, i sometimes forget i have an account. I was going to post music related promo stuff, but everybody does that, so I'll refrain. My life doesnt suck, i do. I need to change but i cant really bring myself to do so. Maybe holding out wont get me anywhere, and it probably wont, but if it does, i still wouldnt be happy. Few things in this world make me happy, and almost all of them could get taken from me at moments notice, which leads me to not caring. everything and everybody leaves eventually