My mental health

Since the departure of my grandparents, a recent break up with my now ex boyfriend and deleting Instagram, my mind is going into a downward spiral. All I do now is doing stuff that might harm me and others, thinking I should suffer to just exist. It's still hard to go on in life with FOMO and grieving, plus (I think) some imposter syndrome, but my optimism (which might be my true self) doesn't want me to end my life now, and to fight the injustice I had and even done. Therapy is still hard and long, but I wanna continue it, hoping I will finally have a lot of friends, a husband that will love me and my future daughter, the puppy I always wanted, my dream job and, overall, rich, healthy and happy.

I don't want to suffer anymore just for being alive and feeling guilty for it :(

(note: the term Downward Spiral comes from EmpLemon)