my neighbors are noisy and weird

yesterday me and my mom learned how to use the lawnmower for the first time ever. we both felt good knowing how to use it. but boy did i feel embarrassed when i didn't know how to use it and i was in front of the house trying to get it to start and didn't realize that i had to push down on the lever and then use the string and pull on it to get it to start. that took me a good few minutes and it tired me out. 

one of our other neighbors went outside and he acted like he was doing something just to see what i was doing. i was like fml. my mom had to call one of my neighbors to help us and they we're surprised that i was trying to do it and told me that this kind of line of work isn't for me that it's a man's job. like who fucking cares?? i wanna learn and i don't wanna have to rely on anyone to help me with this shit. anyone can use a lawnmower. doesn't matter the gender.

anyways then our neighbor asked abt if i knew what i was doing for my major in college and i said no and then he told me i should've been knew what i wanted to do. like dude i don't fucking know what do you want me to do?? god this old man gets me on my last nerves. his son though said it was okay to learn how to use one. fine whatever. 

once me and my mom knew how to do it we both took turns cutting the grass in the back yard and damn my mom wasn't lying when she said this was hard. after a good few minutes i was out of breath and my chest started hurting so i had to take a break. the neighbor right next to us ig was looking at me and my mom cutting grass because their windows was open and they never usually have it open so they we're definitely watching us. 

i always feel like there's always someone watching and i was right. but man does it make me anxious and paranoid a lot of the times. our neighbors are weird. cuz i see the old man go to our other neighbor across the street and look in one window when there's a girl there like that's creepy asf. then the neighbor next to us this guy is like obsessed with my mom and he likes her and keeps talking to her while he's a married man and his wife is always on his ass about it or just always watching.

my mom also gets rlly uncomfortable. now their son which used to go to my highschool never said hi to me even though i waved at him and said hi several times. like he would just pass me by so i was like okay whatever. it's been like this since now and i just don't bother like talking or waving at him. the same neighbor across us this grumpy guy knows my mom and he doesn't like her and my mom doesn't like him cause he's a pain in the ass. 

i thought that yk after my childhood friend moved away that i would've started making friends here in my neighborhood but nah it doesn't seem that way. everybody is either trying to come after us their noisy or just straight up fucking weird. god i hate it here.