no way i'll be socializing when i have a job because i'll be a disc jockey

i always get a weird squeeze in my belly when people say along the lines of "you know you'll always be working/socializing when you enter the workforce" but heres the problem; my workforce might not be your idea of workforce. 

i dont wanna work in a cubicle! or a corporate environment or anything that involves organizing schedules or pushing numbers from one to zero and another!!! aaaaaaa!!!! i dont want to work in typical jobs! but sadly the reality could be writing a different story than glittery fairytales whispering in dreams. i could be working in a restaurant but i wont talk to anyone except that one co worker i have an affinity for, i could be working for the government but i'll choose the basement, a lone janitor is more suitable of a role for me. im such a weird creature that id rather degrade myself to that point. 

its no surprise really, ive always been like this. i think i can remember my most embarrassing moments more than happy ones treasured in my childhood core memories. being sad is an unhealthy feeling, id never guessed one particular event when i felt a tremendous sadness could buy a ticket for the adult life lane. it left fingerprints and unpleasant smells all over my brain, so deep that excavators just wont do it. alas, im not quitting too soon! i will be alive for,, ever-long my life takes me.  but to rewind the tape, i'll always be my awkward minimally spoken self and wont get a job that changes that, mom. because im going to be a dj.