not feeling love/friendship

I need help. I might be posting this at a shitty time since I want advice but I’m too impatient to post this later

I don’t think I’ve ever liked anyone before. Ever. I still treat people with respect and treat them like someone who did feel love did, but I’ve never actually ‘liked’ someone, not even as a friend. The only thing I’ve ever felt love for is my cat, Trixie (not in a zoophilic way…ew). I’ve been in relationships, romantic and platonic, and I never liked the other person, even if they adored me. I just didn’t feel any attraction or connection. I’ve always been exceedingly neutral about everyone, usually leaning towards hatred. I do like being around people sometimes, is that what love is? 

I already know that I’m asexual and somewhere on the aromantic spectrum, and I have a lot of mental issues that make it hard for me to fully understand people (mainly npd and autism) but I really can’t find out why I just don’t like ANYONE. am I just really asocial or am I just in the wrong groups? I’m so confuzzled by my own emotions rn there’s no way Ive never liked or loved anyone but apparently I haven’t. guys what is this called