Not sure how to feel

TW:ED!!!

this week ive been skipping breakfast during school which has 2 sides I love how it feels like when I hear my stomach growls and feeling lightweight and an empty stomach but I hate how tired it makes me I hate how light headed I get its obviously harmful but I don't care tbh BUT

My friend opened up to me about the abuse she's been facing at home and told me her mother takes away food from her and let's her starve in the morning JUST LIKE ME 

It really opened my eyes I was so angry and sad because of that and I told her that I would promise her to bring her sandwiches and any food she wants just so she can eat 

And I realized the difference between me and her is that she's forced into this while im putting myself into this which is very insane of me to do when I think about her situation 

She even noticed that I don't eat breakfast and told me to eat and my heart truly melted at that moment I felt so selfish and terrible for doing that to myself while she's getting tortured literally because of her mother's abuse

I want to eat breakfast after that but it pulls me back in that I need to lose more weight so I can be "qualified" to eat breakfast 

I don't know what to do but I certainly will probably continue what im doing i mean I might bring a diet coke with me or some fruit but I truly hate eating breakfast apart from my ED 

And thats just so sad like 2 realities and how we're living idk its very eye opening for me 

I never want my friend to go through this and I will definitely bring her food and make her whatever she wants but iam fine I've been doing okay so far ofcourse when i feel like i took it too far I'll eat breaky so its no biggie plus on no school days I do eat so I think we're good lol