object permanence

sorry to the diehard fans of object permanence but this post lowkey has NOTHING to do with it  yes i clickbaited oh nooo like and subscribe and hit the notification bell for more!

so basically i dont know if im getting early onset dementia or what but i literally cannot remember shit,,,,, LIKE JACKSHIT

its like as soon as an hour passes i will genuinely just CEASE to remember whatever the fuck just happened??
unless someone brings up a specific event or like i see or read something that reminds me of something in the past i will just completely fail to remember it

AND ITS NOT JUST EVENTS THAT I'LL FORGET like for example i just straight up forget my own like shower thoughts or whatever
basically if i dont happen to be on friendrewind when i have a thought i want to write about and articulate - I JUST WONT WRITE IT OR EVER THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN>???
which btw sucks ass because like how many thoughts have i cooked up just for them to cease to exist
i can GUARANTEE you that if i chose not to go on my computer at this very moment i wouldve just forgotten about all this and just wouldve never wrote it
i would just get up in an hour and be like 'huh i was gonna write about something wasnt i?' try to remember what it was and then give up

it literally gets to the point that i just end up genuinely ragebaiting myself cause like ive ended up in so many situations where i'll just have NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT TO SAY
like my teacher wants us to write about what we did this summer? i dont know
my therapist wants me to talk about how i felt for the past week? shiit bro idk
my friends ask me about some random bullshit facts about my childhood? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME DUDE

its like unless someone is extremely specific or descriptive with their questions or what they want me to say i'll just fail to know how to properly answer

btw if none of this makes sense its because i wrote this while sleepy and nauseous as fuck ok?