OCD AND ATTACHMENT ISSUES

I can’t block my toxic ex and he’s been torturing me. To the point where he’s been setting up situations just so he can fight with me- I think he’s genuinely having a mental breakdown but that means I AM TOO 😭😭

Everyone is like “block him!!” I PHYSICALLY CANT HE NEEDS TO BLOCK ME THATS WHAT PPL DONT UNDERSTAND!!! I’ve literally asked him to block me and he won’t!!! Even if his love wasn’t real, that was the first time I’ve actually felt real love and affection towards someone- he was also my only friend. I’m so attached to him that when he broke up with me my body was physically reacting like I was puking and stuff :/

ALSO I have really bad OCD that my parents refuse to medicate me for no matter how much therapist and doctors tell them to. Overtime most of my “routines” or whatever would revolve around him- and when he broke up with me they all abruptly stopped so I’m going insane!!! The last thing I had was our TikTok streak but that’s now ended too because of the fight he picked with me yesterday- I still can’t bring myself to block him but I don’t know what to do.

It’s come to the point where I dream of him every night and everything like I can’t even stop thinking about him 😭😭 it’s like I hate him and love him at the same time and I want to die because of it.

If you have OCD or have been through something like this please give me advice I need it