ᑕOᑎᖴEᔕᔕIOᑎᔕ Oᖴ ᗩ ᗪYIᑎG ᔕTᗩᖇ*ੈ✩‧₊˚ [EᑎTᖇY #12]

My Soul is Trapped in Makeup˚.🎀༘⋆

By Frederick

Ever since I finally began wearing makeup and becoming a full fledged gyaru, I’ve had this small worry at the back of my mind that I’d become dependent on said makeup to feel presentable and well pretty. Except the more I look into it the more I realise the basis around said worry is wrong.

I wouldn't become dependent because I’d feel ugly, I’d become dependant because I wouldn’t feel like myself.

It is only makeup and fashion where I can express my soul’s contents in my life. Even then I face obstacles in the form of judgement and rejection. Now that I finally have an outlet to tell the world who Frederick is, I don’t want to let go. It’s most likely why whenever I’m just at home with no makeup and quite frankly ugly clothing, I feel a very very subtle unease. It has been so constant and present I forgot it was there, but the introduction to makeup in my life has made it so that it rears its ugly face. Quite annoying.

I’m not sure what the antidote to something like this is, though it's not as if my life is unbearable with it present, merely bothersome.

 Eventually I’ll acquire that life. Until then I’ll be here I suppose.

Best Regards,

Frederick :/