once i achieve that, then what?

yeah. im trans. yeah. i want to be as authentic as i possibly can be.
but once i'm out of this environment where i'm not allowed to be who i know i am,

once i'm as authentic as i can possibly be,

then what?

once i achieve that, then what?

unfortunately learning who i actually am wont mean i'm successful or anything. maybe i do need to take a little bit more control of my future and try to live "day by day" less
i need to be a bit more disciplined and let my immediate feelings control my actions less

i guess this is a goodbye letter to acting like i cant. and a vow to take control and actually start creating the narrative i want instead of just hoping it'll spawn in front of me one day. 

it's up to me and nobody else.