only child

I hate being an only child. I’m always alone with no one at home. Or when someone’s here they’re always too busy for me or don’t care at all. It feels like I’m just another person in the house— the only person. Then (personally) my parents are strict as hell. I can’t go places alone, I can’t meet up with any friends. So I just sit around all day waiting for anyone to save me. They hate when I’m using my electronics all the time, but it’s my only thing keeping from killing myself honestly. Thinking back to when I was around 7 years old I wasn’t allowed to use electronics when it was a school day, so I would do ANYTHING almost anything to keep myself distracted from life. The moment I wasn’t distracted I would think about everything I hate about anything. Sometimes I would just break down crying. My parents never knew why I would start crying. They never will. They won’t understand because they were never alone with no where to go. They had someone insufferable next to them at night or in the morning, they had someone bothering them when they were busy, they had someone annoying them when they were trying be alone. It’s not the best, but it’s the annoying things that make you feel less lonely. Maybe it’s just me but I think it’s insensitive to tell someone you know is an only child, that you wanna be an only child, if you haven’t experienced what it’s like. Yes, it is different for everyone but people I know who are only children think similar to me. I hate it when people ALWAYS assume that everyone who has no siblings are spoiled. Some are, but it’s only to keep us entertained. So what if I have stuff you want? All of this is just to distract me from the thing I want most. I don’t wanna be alone. I never wanna experience being alone again. 

I was crying the whole time making this lol

fuck