our society

hey so wdym im supposed to work all my life to have 15-20 years for me before die, and I know if im doing a work I love its gonna be fun and may cool but I can't imagine working all my life for money, for buying random stuff I need to live. so if we think like this can we work at something we love and still can live ? why the society have been created like this ? do we lives really matter if were just sleeps in the society were born to? aren't we just little things in a big earth ? and I can't get full either bc I don't have a bad life I could not have parents or not have a house, or just be free, so what's the problem ? I just can't think that we just live to do things we don't really love.

I think past generations had issus and problems but not like now, its different there is wars, climate problem, financial problem, and a fear for the future which is perhaps intergenerational but its different everyone is scared may not the bigs mans of the society who do every shit in this world.

So how to stay optimist in this world ? 

who can teach us to still trust in the people who send us to this future we can't really choose ?

can we are rlly someone if no one know our history ? our past ? our future ? how do we felt ? 

how are we supposed to be an adult ? how we keep a secret ? How do we pay our bills when we don't even have the money to pay for our studies? and even less to eat?

everyone try to be someone, to be someone everyone gonna love, someone who can pay everything , who have everything, someone who can do anything we want. 

but how to be someone when no one know you even your family and some friends?

no one teach you that right ? 

we live once not an another chance to be more famous or to be a better person in a world who doesn't care about anyone except his own little person. 

I feel like what I am writing rn is sad and depressed but its just a thing I tell myself sometimes , I look at my window looking at this pretty sky because one day I won't be able to enjoy it anymore.