parents

I hate hearing people say they stayed for the kids because, most of the time, it doesn’t help. It doesn’t help the child, and it doesn’t help the parent. I remember growing up, watching my parents, wondering if I would finally see one of them drive away. I lived in a constant state of fear and unease. I imagine it’s the same for many other kids—never knowing what will come next.

If you are being treated in a way that makes you feel like you need to leave, ask yourself: what makes you think staying would benefit your children in any way? At some point, you need to realize that you are human. You and your children both need the same basic things.

Answer me this—do you genuinely believe having another parental figure, no matter how poor, is better than not having one at all? I thought the whole point of having a parental figure was to have someone to learn from and look up to. What could a deadbeat, present in body but not in spirit, possibly add to your child’s life?

Leave. Leave them behind, leave your tired nights behind. Choose yourself, and I promise your child will most likely need the same thing. You need food, don’t you? So does that baby. You need love, right? Guess what—they need it too.

This applies to so many things people brush over. At the end of the day, that child notices everything. Yes, they notice how you sit there and take whatever they put you through. It becomes normalized in their brains. So either they grow up to become the same way, or they seek someone who reminds them of their “normal.”

Teach your baby to stand up for themselves, and in return, you will benefit.