personal post: GOD HELP ME, THE SOX HAVE RISEN AGAIN

one of my jobs is that i am one of the ten billion employees at the white sox stadium who stands around for hours giving people directions.

blah blah, very boring, your feet hurt like hell afterwards from standing in one place, etc. my role is particularly nonessential, and i tend to get cut at inning 2, so i basically go over there, and get paid for like 3 hours or whatever, then go home. kind of shit gig but it is a gig so there you go.

my health is shit, so a very flexible job like this is what's best for me because i can call out or just leave when things get bad for me.

anyway, the sox unexpectedly rocketed to the top of their league after years of being at the bottom, so everyone was very excited and VERY UNPREPARED for playoffs. we're talking management shifting day to day between "your section is going to be completely closed the entire time for press-only" and "actually you need to hire like 30 more people to deal with all the new customers you're going to get during playoffs", actually crazy mixed messaging. everyone was super stressed, long-time employees were talking about quitting just because it was getting to them so bad, the whole nine yards.

for weeks, everyone has been on tenterhooks. will they cinch that postseason spot? one loss too many could be the decider!!

KILL ME NOW because last night they made it >:(((((((((((

i'm super burned out. the money is nice, but i feel like death, and i'm barely making it from day to day. like, on sunday when i got home from [other job], i fell asleep at 6pm. i woke up monday at 10pm for long enough to eat plain cereal for old people (shredded wheat is 2.79 a box at tjoez everyone, huge recommend), pee, and rebraid my hair. then, BAM, asleep until tuesday 3am. 30 total hours in pretty much one go. and i don't get tips or anything from this white sox gig, so i wanted to be free.

i'm not sleep deprived or anything (i sleep 12 hours most nights), my body just doesn't work enough for work. it's been like this for decades and i don't know why or how to fix it. it's better with the medication and treatment i'm on - that's right, this is "better" than it used to be. i wish i knew what was wrong with me but i've seen dozens of specialists and every single one just goes "idk". *shrug* so i guess i'm damned to this. i probably need to get my shit together and go for disability because i have tons of debt to my housemate for rent despite working myself to the bone like this... but... well... that's a whole other nightmare. i can't make much money with my problems (last year my w2 said my total income for the year was $8k. yeah. it's bad) so disability would genuinely be an upgrade.

anyway, i go in today, and i'm sure everyone will be ~delighted!~ for this exciting news. i need to prep my speech in the mirror for telling customers that yes i am so very happy about this:) without looking like i want to die. i'm going to be really busy at [football stadium job] with the the start of their own sports season on top of this. football stadium is a mixed bag because i get paid more there but also have much more responsibility and more work to do. my goal is to get promoted asap to a role that gets the good tips so it'll at least be worth it.

tl;dr i hate when sports does well because then i have more work :(