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I just like what I like... 

Since I was younger I noticed how I would be attracted to anyone just by their personality, not looks. It didn't matter if they were a girl, a boy or a non-binary person. 

When I got to high school I didn't try to date because in middle school I went through something that left a scar both on my mind and body, so I just kept to myself and minded my business. Then I started to notice this girl was always flirting with me and I grew to like her, eventually we ended up dating for 4 years (until my second year of college).

She left me because I like boys too, which I was confused about because I never looked at a guy romantically, although I did AFTER she ghosted / broke up with me. 

I find it funny how even after the years and the stuff I did for her and with her she just up and dipped like our relationship was nothing? I never talked about our relationship with anyone because to me she was everything to me, everyone around me didn't like her because she was weird and jealous but I always chose her... 

Up until this day I find it hard to date anyone because I get really anxious that they might leave any time so I just stay alone or just stay in the talking stage until they grow tired of me. I want to change, I really do, I want to love how I used to but I cant see how...