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I kind of talk about this situation a lot on here, but I guess it’s the only place where I can really say anything without people I know personally seeing it. Sorry for the rant/vent in advance I just need to get this off my chest <\33 (again) 

Have you guys ever experienced the pain of missing someone and yearning for someone that doesn’t really exist anymore? FUCKKKK I actually can’t stand this anymore.

Basically I don’t have a lot of friends, but I had my boyfriend. He broke up with me and then proceeded to literally bully me and bully other people too like one of those assholes at school that are mean for no reason yk? After he found this new friend group he’s like off the railllssss. Anyways, not only do I have nobody now but I’m genuinely being humiliated and bullied by someone I love. He’s been spreading around my secrets, spreading around messages I sent him, laughing at everything I do with his “friends”- and yet has the audacity to not want to go no contact because he “never disliked me”

This is the same boy that would make me good food when my ED was bad, this is the same boy that literally kissed the scars on my skin, this is the same boy that genuinely talked about building me a house and having two cats and a Racoon??? Wtf happened??

Everyone is like “whatever you mogged him anyways”, “I never liked him”, “just block himmm!!” Guys fr it’s really hard for me to love someone but I loved this person a lot, and especially because this all went downhill so fast I can’t just let go no matter how much he hates me for some reason :/

We don’t have classes together this year, he switched buses- and I’m probably not going to see him all year because my school is huge. Idk all this is driving me nuts, I’ve been trying so hard not to relapse or smoke weed all day but it’s really hard.

I’m not expecting anyone to read all this and this isn’t really a call for help, I just wanted to type all this out tbh. Tyyyyy :3 might delete later 

ALSO OFF TOPIC BUT SHOULD I POST MY POETRY ON HERE??