.

I really wish I was connected with my culture again, when i was younger I was very interactive with it, even dancing and participating in cultural events and activities. I feel guilty that im not as immersed as I was before, now I dont dance, i don’t try to interact with activities or anything. 

I really do miss all of that, back then I was so close and connected with my culture I feel like im lost and gone from it. I dont feel connected to the creator anymore, when I should be. He was supposed to guide and help me, while I did the same. Now I don’t even smudge or anything unless someone else does it for me. 

I don’t pray anymore to the creator nor my people, I can’t even remember the last time I’ve done that. I haven’t gone on any events either, I feel so guilty for it. 

Everyone tells and asks me if I would be willing to dance again but I cant bring myself to do it all, I’ve become so isolated and scared I can’t even think of being out there again in the spotlight. I hate this

I wish I wasn’t so scared to do anything. :(

(Note— Im native, the creator is essentially “god” in my culture and dancing is to pray to ourselves and our families. As well as smudging to be rid of bad spirits. And to rid of our negative emotions.)