🌧ρℓαყเɳɠ ૮ɦเ૮ҡεɳ ωเƭɦ ƭɦε ૨αเɳ🌧

Soundtrack: 

Yellow Ledbetter - Pearl Jam

June 19th, 2026 12am

What are rainy mornings made for you might ask? incense/Candles? Coffee & a good book? Top tier playlist & an energy drink? For me lately they have included all of the above. Before you say anything.... Yessssss i know i shouldn't consume so much caffeine but i pinky promise not to tell if you wont. 

Besides, In a world that gives you so many reasons to go more harmful routes, I think a slight caffeine addiction is the better option of so many other harsh realities. (Im sorry to those who have found themselves stuck in that reality, unable to find a way out, but also proud of those who have made it out.)

Today as i sit here with my youngest mini me & stare out into the rain flowing off the porch im filled with a sense of belonging that is usually reserved for a few specific locations. Mostly those that only exist in pictures/videos now. To me It feels like coming home.

I don't believe that its the location, because there definitely is somewhere else out there more suited for us geographically speaking, its more a sense of coming home to ones self. A feeling of knowing that I'm being stared at, despite hating to be perceived, of showing up authentically as myself & choosing not to care what they think.

As thunder thrums from the sky I check to see how my daughter handles it, shes scared of loud noises so this is as much of a test for her as it is me. Instead of tears/fear, i find her smiling as she stares out at the rain in wonder. I question her every time i hear a particularly loud bit of thunder & each time she asks for "5 more minutes mommy please". 

The first hint of lightening in the distance is what finally shook her. She definitely would have stayed longer if I'd let her, as she tried to compromise with me while we made our way in the door. "Maybe the neighbors made the lightening, not the sky?" or "Can I jump in the puddles please" and "See its safe, it stopped lightening". It made me chuckle, but regardless of her being scared or not... I draw the line at "playing chicken with the rain" when its lightening with kids outside. 

Yes, if you'd ask me years from now id still say that today felt like coming home, like healing, for more than just me. A lot of people from my past would never be able able to grasp how unbelievably happy that makes me. That can be a whole grieving process in itself at times, but i have hope that it will be ok, because our future is filled with endless possibilities for genuine connection. 

I also know that our life can be whimsical, magical & bright if I'm willing to take the leap. Just as i know somewhere out there is people just like us. Learning healing, & coming home to themselves to.

<3 I reassure myself when I'm feeling low, that we will survive & thrive no matter what comes our way, because i will make sure we do. Even when we have no one else, we have each other, & at the end of the day that is ALL that truly matters. <3