rabbit or habbit?

rimbaud says " i think myself in hell, therefore i am." pagan i ought to be for thinking so, and yet: 

i am the vengeful soldier who wraps his broken brothers in spitzer cartridges. i tread through the ashen bridges as my faith begins to shellshock.

i am the curled finger who fidgets on the trigger. it becomes a sensitive compulsion, the trigger of his every addiction. 

i am prone to a relapse the way a butcher is drawn to his machete more than the abattoir. his cain-stained blade scouts for camo in invisible enemies to keep me steady.

i am the abductor who bags the writhing animals, manila braided to hang in hunting paths. let him discover the aftermath of his greed before sin begins to bleed.

i am ghosting along the ghost of my friends and everybody i once loved. the guilt i am feeling and the thirst he is seeking, we do not get along well.

i am guilty as much as he is. he is the habits of many. i am none other than everyman. 

i am, that possibility is worse than hell itself.