Rambling + trigger warning?

I remember one time I posted on Pinterest I related to Paz Dario from The Survivor Wants to Die at the End, and I got so many comments asking if I was okay, months after the post had been posted. Obviously I was not okay when I posted it, and am doing so much better mentally as of now.
January was hell for me, I never wish anyone what I did to myself and what had happened.
I miss my old English teachers so much,[There was a co-teacher in that class], they were the main reason I showed up to school every single day when I felt like laying in bed and not doing anything at all. Sure my parents forcing me out of bed was one reason too, but they were the only class I looked forward to. Both of them were so kind, so genuine. They listened rather than brushing us [the class] off. I was only in that class because 1. I do VERY well in English classes and 2. So I could help others struggling. I remember my co-teacher who's name will be Mr D. for privacy reasons, telling me after I had helped someone understand the work better that that was why I was there. Which, I teared up. Me? I didn't get why me, I never will, because I am not the greatest helper, in my own opinion, but according to my school I was.
And then I was pulled from that class. Taken away from the only reason I kept my shit together, the only reason I bothered caring about my grades. I got moved to a class  where the teacher was always mad for no reason and it so insufferable. I would literally fucking cry every time I was in that class. The reason I got pulled was because of some stupid rumours that I liked one of the teachers in the same way I like BJA or JGL. Which..no? Yeah I love that class dearly and I would talk about it sometimes, just because I felt like I could be myself in that class, but that does not mean I have a crush on either teacher. They felt like father figures now that I look back on it. I would have lunch in either of their classes because the lunch room was so loud I'd get overwhelmed and just shut down, and some people took that the wrong way? 
With a new friend, whom  I love dearly, I have found my purpose again, and am now doing a little better. Parents on my back and making me feel like I'm not enough doesn't help my mental space, but that's okay.
I won't be gone, I won't leave anyone. No matter how badly I feel like I should. I can't get myself to. And I have Green Day to thank for that. And my old  English teachers. 
Love you six. Oh and Krista. She's a real one for sticking around while she clearly has better things to be doing.

May the unicorns, always and forever, have your backs,
Dallas Armstrong.

And remember? The scars mean you're a survivor. 
Don't look at them like they're ugly. 

Love you all, stay safe, stay gold, and drink water.

<3

[might delete later idk]