RANT #2

HELLO AGAIN PEOPLE! >:D

I remembered when I saw my cousin watching brainrot at my aunt's phone one time when me & my family were at the mall. Told her to not let him watch it because it can affect someone's brain but then has THE audacity to compare my cousin's brainrot to mine. It got worse when she said that I was being "Defensive" for it so I just keep my mouth shut.

Mind you, the only brainrot I used to watch was those happy meal toy reviews, Cookieswirlc, Smile HD, nightcore, thomas the train, videos where someone removes clay (or slime) that showcases a toy before moving to the next one, anime AMV, Sonic ship videos, gacha life singing battles, creepypasta, & then... yeah, just that. 

Meanwhile, my cousin's brainrot consists of nonsensical, fast-paced, ones. The "Steal the Brainrot", Among us, Poppy Playtime, Minecraft... basically that. Not only that, he even watches videos that are in different languages such as Russian, Arabic, Spanish.... then my aunt deadass compares it to mine, like... what. Where's the logic behind it? Her stupidity makes my brain hurt so bad I thought I was going to have a seizure from it.

I deadass literally told myself that MY family always has a thing to comparing me to other people or to my cousins, which SUCKS because I when I tell them to stop, they get mad about it, claiming it was just to "improve" myself, when in reality, it made me even more insecure & self-conscious, to the point I began to have low self-esteem & question myself repeatedly until it became unbearable.

Parents, aunts, uncles, especially grandparents, please stop with the fucking comparison bullshit. It will make the child feel more pressured & invalidated, which is the reason why they stop telling you their problems & their issues or become quiet. Then you have the audacity to ask yourself "Why do my kids not talk to me anymore?" in the future. I wonder why.

That's what happened to me one time when I graduated from my old school, no honors but with a medal before my grandmother told me "Why can't you be like your other classmates? They have high honors.". At that moment, it broke my heart because I expected her to be supportive, not like that. 

The worst part? I can't do anything about it. Why, you ask? I'll tell you why:

If I get angry about it, I might be called "dramatic" or "sensitive". Or they might say that "I'm not studying enough.". So, I just keep my mouth shut & let them say it because it's called "disrespectful". 

Another thing is, let's say I DID tell them about how I feel. And it goes in many ways...

A - They stay silent

B - They get mad about it

C - They scold me for it

D - All of the above 

See? That's what I have to deal with it. And I have to even deal with the "Respect your elders" rule to add salt on the wound. 

Don't be like that please. Don't be like me who needs to go through this ordeal because they want me to be "mature". I'm trying my best to stay positive but those memories still made me remember it & it's affecting me negatively. Thanks for reading this rant. 

Have a nice day :)