rant abt fav chara from soul eater (crona) cuz i relate to them

it’s just rlly easy to get drawn to characters I relate to. Ik my personality comes off pretty far from crona’s to other ppl but there’s just things about them that feel way too familiar with me. Usually the only characters I find “relatable” to how I act on the surface level, the ones that are stereotypically really pretty energetic and like to tease others and whatever. maybe have the cliche that’s like “happy mask hiding all my inner problems”. Idk, I feel like crona was the first and only character that resonates with the core of me I don’t express to others? I haven’t discussed it with anyone so nobody told me if im just trying hard to relate to a character I rlly like even if we have nothing remotely in common. But I still feel like if I never had to mask my anxiousness and such (basically the part of me that’s vulnerable), I wouldn’t be so far off.

When I first heard their monologues I think? The questions they asked their own soul, i just teared up. Other than that idk what to say, but it hit a heart string 😭 their attachment to maka too. I haven’t really found someone who’s the “maka” in my life but the attachment for sure. Now for crona’s family issues, def not the exact same. But the feelings feel close to home. Not meeting the expectations of your parents, having to hide the vulnerable side so u won’t get put down and such. When they suddenly show affection after they swore that you were a lost cause that didn’t deserve any help. 

it takes a lot of energy for me to keep up with others. I do still have the traits of being more upbeat to others, just I can’t maintain it consistently. I do feel like I want to stop masking but the moment I try to, a whole bunch of guilt and regret becomes unbearable. But same thing happens if I do mask, I just feel fake and miserable the moment I get home :/