Ranting about gay fanfics like a madman (my frustrations with mlm fics)

Idk if this is a vent or not but it's what I feel like rambling about right now. I like fanfics, I like reading them and sometimes writing them. I have an ao3 account and so far I've only written one fic for a friend. It was a cringey y/n fluff fic for the transformers fandom, a fandom I'm not a part of. It wasn't really my best work and I cringe thinking about it, but they liked it so that's a win, I guess. Most of the time, I'm reading other people's works. I normally only ever read fics tbh. Sometimes it's healthy fluffy yaoi, sometimes it's toxic yaoi, sometimes it's yaoi with a reader insert. 90% of the time it's some kind of gay fic between two guys, probably because I'm projecting and imaging myself as a cis guy in a relationship with another guy. It's easy to find mlm fics between two characters, but super hard to find fics with a male y/n or reader. When looking through the mlm tag for reader fics on ao3, espically if your fandom is a lil niche or with a fanfic community of mostly girls, you'll find that there's very little male reader fics. Looking up /reader or /you fics of my beloved Scout from tf2, there's 178 fics with a female reader but only 81 fics with a male reader. Even then, some of the y/n x scout fics under the mlm tag tend to get lumped together with with gender neutral readers or poly relationships with a female reader. Don't even get me started on how hard it is to find fics with a trans reader. Also, mind my language and how vulgar this next statement will be, but most of the time when reading mlm fics, they make the bottom this super submissive feminine boy and the top this macho masculine man. And most of the time it's the more quiet, soft, timid or stereotypically feminine of the guys that gets the bottom treatment - and it becomes even more frustrating when the guy in question is trans. Take The Eltingville Club fics for example. When the fanbase ships the character Jerry with any of the guys, they practically turn him into this meek girl. Mind you, Jerry and all the other guys in the club are these red pilled incel geeks who present masculinely and are some of the worst people you'll ever meet - Jerry is just as bad and just happens to be the presumably tamest. Kinda ironic how the fandom of The Eltingville Club does this when the comics are a critic and satire of toxic fandom and nerd culture. I'm not saying it's wrong to ship these guys tho, I actually think the idea of them being secretly gay for each other is kinda funny, but you should still acknowledge these toxic traits and maybe even portray the characters as being toxic - just without romanticizing it. It's kinda like they're projecting straight people gender roles onto gay men with the top and bottom stereotypes. This could be because a majority of fics are written by and for women and girls. I understand that some people get off to that, but personally, I don't wanna see that shit. I want to see relationships that are messy, authentic, and complex. I want to see mlm relationships where there isn't this weird hetero-normative perspective of gay men and where both men are presented as masculine, even in different flavors of masculinity. The guys could even be fem or anydrogous, I'd just like to see them written as men rather than shy girls with he/him pronouns slapped onto them. 

You can correct me if any of my thought patterns are wrong, I just wanted to get this out there. Thank you for reading my gay madman rambling.